Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Explanation of my prayer list

A few days ago I enlisted the help of several people in a prayer campaign to help me fight some very specific battles that have been plaguing me of late. This evening, as I thought of adding some new items to the list, I realized, I should put up a blog post with the targeted items. If you are looking for the prayer list, please go here:
Prayer List
This way, when/if I made changes/additions, people can simply refer to the same post without having to worry about whether they got the email, if it had gotten sent to spam etc. Furthermore, it may be something others could stumble upon and assist in the process. Right now, I need prayer. We all need prayer. But, if I am to survive my medical condition, I literally need a miracle.

Due to the complexity of my condition, chemotherapy is no longer and option and all I can do it take transfusions and medications. It is a scientific fact that transfusions, over time, will begin to be rejected by the host body for a variety of reasons. At the moment, I am on a pattern where I get transfusions about once every 10 days. In fact, I get transfusions about once every 5 days, but, two different types of transfusions. So, I may do labs on a Monday, and, get a red blood cell transfusion on Tuesday for 2 pints of blood. We will call Monday day 1. I test again day 5, Friday, and, see I need a bag if platelets, so, on day 5 I get a second transfusion, this time, with platelets and platelets alone. I will be fine on red blood cells until about day 9, at which point I do labs, then, on day 10, get 2 bags of red blood cells. Usually, my platelets are dropping at this point, but, still fine. Four days later, around day 14, I do labs, and, it comes out I need platelets, so, on day 15 I get platelets. All this is to say, I have two cycles: days 1-10 (red) and days 5-15 (platelets). So, even though I have two "cycles" I am in this time period refreshing all cell types...just not at once.

This can continue for some time. My oncologist, who is also a hematology expert, pointed out that the body will eventually stop allowing this pattern. If it were as simple as me being able to do this indefinitely, I would not be "dying". However, there is a finite amount of time, the length of which no one knows, during which I can continue this pattern of periodic transfusions to survive. Yet, according to my doctors, this too will come to an end. When this occurs, I will die of one of two things: 1) bleeding out or 2) infection. Either is equally as valid, but, neither are something I am ready or willing to think about yet. Aware of the end results? Yes. Up for pondering them much? No. I guess you could say it's the denial stage, but, I have fought with enough stuff to just not feel compelled to dwell on things I cannot change in the long run. Eventually, I will die because of conditions similar to leukemia. Bone marrow transplants, from what I have been told, are really not an option because there is so much cancer in my bones. To clear out the cancer in my bones I would have to undergo such intense chemotherapy it would more than likely kill me in the process of trying to help me. So, we stand at a cross-roads. And, I see no "natural" solution to the problem. This is why I have come up with the prayer list shown below.

Much of what is written below is verbatim from my original email to folks who are praying for me in this violent prayer assault. I believe that supernatural healing CAN occur. Will it? I do not know. And, honestly, I have had entirely too many thoughts telling me "you can't trust God" lately to want to write much about it. Nonetheless, I return, again, in faith, holding fast to the fact that there are many realms. One is science and another is the divine. They can, and, in some places, do, overlap. Exactly, how, where, when, why. Shoot, I am not God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit or any of his angels. I am not a prophet or a saint to whom he has revealed the edges of these two spheres. As a side note, I think saying there are "edges" implies there are distinct, unique, and, separate shapes, wholly different in type and nature. Without getting into a big sidetrack, I would think the interrelationship between science and the divine is like that of brackish water and fresh: at what point does fresh water start and swamp water end? They are both water, but, no single line of demarcation can be drawn. There are infinitely subtle shades of differences, tiny changes, places where there may be more God than science, and, just a little over, a spot where God may pale in comparison to what can be known and knowable. In the very same way, were a person to float into space and try to determine what types of light exist where, lets say gamma rays versus light rays or ultraviolet, is virtually impossible. Are there true, real differences that could be made were one given such power? Yes. Absolutely. But, in the end, how much does ones ability to lay bare the precise, infinitely complex differences matter? I have gotten, in my life, to the point where I no longer feel compelled or driven to be the one who makes such articulate proclamations.

I am, however, at the point where I want to see God's power in action. Live. Real. Transfomation. Healing. Restorative. Eternal and beyond that which even our greatest imagination's fancy can reach. What I want is to be able to tell the world that God has done great things and not just say it, but, show it. Demonstrating, if, with nothing other than my own life, how incomparable God's greatest truly is stands at the top of my list of hopes and dreams. Shortly after being diagnosed, my verse became, "I shall not die but live and declare the works of God." Which works? Any. All. Every. Whatever He would give me the privilege to. It is with a mind focused on God in this way that I composed a list of prayers I sent to folks who are standing with me in prayer.  At times, the shape and specific items in my list with change. I see where some prayers will simply be answered, and, leaving it on the list, would be of no value in this personal metamorphosis from who I am to who God called and created me to be: a spiritual ecologist. This prayer list is my mission statement, my focused plan to move forward, death or no death. Having people stand with me to resist the enemy and the "rare" and "unknown" diseases that threaten to take my life is a joy I cannot share loudly enough. The enemy has come at me long enough and hard enough that he had to INVENT new warfare. I do not take this as a sign of pride. I wish I were not sick. I wish I were an ordinary person. But, by the virtue of my disease alone, it seems that the enemy is up to something and I need EVERY person who is willing to pray to keep me here on earth praying. As I get new prayer requests I will update the existing link to simplify the task for any who wish to follow along. Again, I still need to complete the last portion, but, I wanted to further clarify WHY I have this prayer list and what I hope to accomplish with it. May Jesus Christ be praised and glorified. May the power the raised him from the grave strengthen me and may God and God alone be able to receive praise and honor for the fact that I am still alive.

I should be dead. I overdosed while I was a teenager once. I have almost been killed by cars twice. I suffered complications and a surgery so severe that my survival was questionable. And, now, I stand, beyond the edge of medical care. There is no cure. Not for the first cancer. And, not for the second cancer. If I stop receiving transfusions I die. So, death is not just after me. It is out, in full force, to steal my life, rob my family and kill me. Period. Satan hates me and Jesus loves me. So far, Jesus is winning and pray that the gap widens! Please stand with me. If you have people who are prayer warriors, beg their assistance. I am nothing special. I am but a man. Yet, the amount, depth, length and kind of attack sent against me and my family for such a time as this makes me believe that God truly wants to do something great. It may not be through me, but, perhaps only through someone I come into contact with, or, something I say. But, it is about God and his greatness. Please stand with me that God's miracles would come to pass in order prove He is real. He is alive. And, He loves us. He the God who rules this world and without his love and power we are nothing. Be a part of a miracle and pray that God will do something to SHOUT TO THE EARTH and NATIONS about his goodness.

No comments:

Post a Comment